The Night I Woke Naked in My Car With No Memory
The Friday Footnote 2.07.25
I’ve been thinking about moments of faith lately. Not in the Christian God sense of the word or in any sort of religious sense really.
There’s so much going on that when I wake the following morning, I’m never even sure where to begin. And I swear, I’m not a political commentator, or at the very least I never intended to grow up to be one. Sometimes, I’m not positive I can tell the difference between what’s real and what’s propaganda. However, this blurring of the fiction and the dream into the real is not new to me.
By my mid-thirties I’d gone twenty years with undiagnosed and untreated sleep apnea. Aaron, our youngest, was barely a thought at the time. Mary regulated me to the downstairs couch I snored so loud. The neighbor sometimes asked the next day if I’d heard the truck come through the street braying its jake break.
Nope. I did not. That was me. And I guess if there is a single upside to sleep apnea is that you don’t hear your own snoring. I’d wake up several times throughout the night with an incredible urge to urinate. The stairs to the bathroom seemed complicated to me, so I opened the sliding kitchen doors to the neighbor’s azaleas. The leaves turned yellow at the tips. The entire plant drooped. Then, eventually, entire leaves turned brown, brittle, and scorched. The surrounding grass leached of all color.
This was way back when I used to smoke, and in the morning before work, I’d grab my Camel Blues and wonder why all the cigarettes were gone. I secretly blamed Mary for sneaking the cigarettes behind my back—I was fine that she smoked, just get a replacement pack already, don’t leave me in the lurch, you know.
One night, I woke in the car in nothing but my underwear. Keys in hand. Not knowing if I had just left and had come back, or if I was about ready to leave. I do remember thinking I needed to hit the Kroger’s grocery for a fresh pack of Camels. To this day, I can’t tell you whether that moment in the car actually happened or not. I can not distinguish the moment between dream or reality or perhaps some kind of combination.
You would think with nothing on but underwear, sitting in my car would have been the wake-up call I needed to seek treatment. Heck, the garage door was down, and I could have died from carbon monoxide poisoning let alone what kind of damage I would have (may have) done on the road.
Towards the end, just before I acquired the CPAP, I literally faceplanted into my soup. Imagine, drowning to death in a bowl of soup.
How can you trust what you see, what you feel, what you know when the only evidence of your own actions is a dying azalea and an empty pack of cigarettes?
I’d done a clinical sleep study once before. Under extreme protest. It was 2001, 2002? Just after Abigail, our oldest was born. Mary drove me to a nondescript brick office complex. I purchased new pajamas for the occasion and made her pull through the Burger King drive-thru for a strawberry milkshake just before she dropped me off.
I sat in a typical doctor’s waiting room. The thin office high traffic carpeting. The old National Geographic magazines, Woman’s Day, Country Living, a few Readers’ Digest spewed across a low sitting table. I sat with fifteen other strangers. We all wore pajamas. No one spoke. No awkward questions about whether any of us had this procedure before. No questions about whether the techs had called anyone back yet. We tried not to stare at each other. I slurped the last of my milkshake through the thick straw, tossed the cup, went out for a smoke break while I waited. By now, it was past the midnight hour. I could hardly keep my eyes open.
The stars had spread themselves too thin. The fresh bit of cut grass too crisp, too recent. The occasional wail of a siren bleeds in from somewhere beyond sight, stretching too long before cutting off, and all I was left with was the churring of cicadas. It was the kind of night where you felt like you could walk too far, drift too far from yourself, and never find your way back home.
Eventually, they called my name and positioned me in a dentist’s chair. They applied electrodes to my forehead, the back of my head, my chest, my arms. I’m so tired and they warned me not to fall asleep. But the weight of sleep sat behind my eyes, like dull thumbs pushing against my sockets. And my eyelids felt swollen. My limbs filled with thick, wet sand. The world flickered through a blur of half-lost time. I’m unraveling, losing grip on the thin thread of reality.
I’m standing in the room, my back against the wall, staring at my body. My head jerked against the headrest. My jaw clenched; lips pulled. The tendons in my neck popped. A shudder ran through my shoulders, spread down into my torso in a series of quick, rhythmic spasms. My legs jolted. The technicians screamed, “He’s seizing.” And I snapped back into my body as the Burger King strawberry milkshake spewed all over me—sickly sweet. Rancid sour dairy and bile.
To go in for a second sleep study, to put myself through that whole ordeal again—
Fear is the awareness of one’s one vulnerability. The recognition that control is illusion, that the systems in place—the mind, the body, the ability to parse reality—can and do fail. Fear does not require panic. Does not require understanding. Fear is a cognitive fracture, a certainty that what should make sense does not. Fear Is not the moment of seizure. Fear is the before and the after—the choice of returning to a place where you might again lose yourself, to submit to a process that might demand more from you than you are capable of giving.
I spent months resisting the CPAP. Pulling the mask off in my sleep, convincing myself I didn’t need the machine. Then, one morning I woke and realized I’d slept through the night. The machine was still on.
The CPAP didn’t just represent medical treatment. The machine required faith in others—doctors, science, Mary who’d been telling me for years something was wrong, and I didn’t want to believe she was right. I didn’t want to believe I needed help.
It took more faith to trust the machine than to keep trusting myself. And now, so so many years later, every night when the mask comes on, the hum of the machine kicks in, and I give in. I breathe. And maybe that’s what faith is—not certainty, not conviction, but the moment you finally let go and trust that something—someone—outside yourself will carry you through the night.
NH State Reps Dismantling the Trades? The Truth About HB283
What I wrote in this past Monday’s Blueprint—while drafting, revising, and right up to the moment when my cursor hovered over the green publish button—I felt that same fear I just described. Should I click or should I not click?
But within hours I received emails, Facebook comments and likes, a phone call. And almost everyone said to keep writing. To keep doing this work. The fear never left that moment I clicked but the outpouring of support returned was louder than the fear.
Here, locally in New Hampshire, on Monday, February 10, the House Education Policy and Administration Committee will hold a public hearing on HB 283 at 1:30pm, a bill that would gut New Hampshire's definition of an adequate education. This legislation removes core subjects from the definition, leaving students underprepared for higher education, careers, and civic life. It also effectively serves as a backdoor way to reduce the scope of what the state is constitutionally required to fund by cutting out many of the learning areas.
Over and over I hear people chant to bring back the trades to schools and to teach basic financial literacy in schools. Those complaints always bug me because the trades never went away, and there are financial literacy courses already on the books. However, this proposed state legislation guts the following:
Personal finance literacy
Engineering
Technology
Computer science
Civics
Government
Economics
Geography
History
Holocaust and genocide education
Music
Arts, including visual arts
World languages
To be clear: engineering and technologies often include career and technical education (CTE) programs, trade skills, and vocational training.
This bill removes anything that prepares students for real-world jobs beyond college-track academics. No vocational education. No financial literacy. No arts. No tech.
HB283 strips education to reading, writing, math, and basic science—fully preparing kids for the 19th century.
There’s a super, easy way to register your opinion online. Just click the green button:
The online testimony deadline is midnight Monday 2/10.
You may read the full proposed bill here.
Want to contact Dan McGuire directly? Here is his contact information:
Dan.McGuire@gc.nh.gov
603-782-4918
If you'd like to email the entire House Education Policy & Administration Committee, you can do so easily with this green button:
Please share this far and wide:
The Federal Dismantling: The Trades Are Just the Beginning
Maybe HB283 seems too radical for you to believe it’ll even pass. However, we’re already staring down the barrel of a dismantled Department of Education at the Federal level, and what’s occurred at the top (for many) has already been unbelievable, but is happening at break neck speed:
Federal Workforce Reduction
Offered buyouts to 2.3 million federal employees under a "deferred resignation program."
Ordered a freeze on federal hiring, except for military, immigration, national security, and public safety roles.
Reinstated Schedule F, stripping employment protections for thousands of civil servants.
Ordered agencies to halt remote work and return workers to the office full-time.
Government Funding Freeze
Issued a pause on trillions of dollars in federal aid, affecting health care, infrastructure, and other programs.
A federal judge temporarily blocked the freeze after lawsuits argued it violated the U.S. Constitution and harmed state budgets.
Dismissal of Government Watchdogs
Fired 17 inspectors general across multiple federal agencies, including State, Defense, and Transportation.
Did not provide the legally required 30-day notice to Congress before firing watchdogs.
Justice Department Restructuring
Reassigned 20+ senior Justice Department attorneys, including those handling civil rights, national security, and environmental cases.
Created a Sanctuary Cities Enforcement Working Group to crack down on local governments resisting immigration enforcement.
Ordered prosecutors to consider criminal cases against state and local officials who refuse to cooperate with federal immigration agents.
Froze new civil rights litigation and halted pending environmental lawsuits.
FEMA Review
Launched a review of FEMA, considering shutting it down or shifting disaster response funds to state governments.
Critics argue this politicizes disaster relief and could delay federal aid during crises.
Mass Firings of Biden-Appointed Officials
Fired over 1,000 Biden-era officials, including:
U.S. Coast Guard Commandant Admiral Linda Lee Fagan, citing her focus on diversity policies.
Heads of the TSA, National Labor Relations Board, Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), and Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB).
160 National Security Council staff members were sent home.
Elimination of Government Diversity Programs
Abolished all DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) offices and roles in federal agencies.
Ordered federal employees to report colleagues attempting to continue DEI initiatives.
Revoked the 1965 Equal Employment Opportunity order.
Banned gender identity and preferred pronouns in government settings.
Pentagon Policy Shifts
Removed all DEI programs from the military.
Reinstated service members discharged for refusing COVID-19 vaccines.
Banned transgender individuals from serving, stating gender identity does not meet military standards.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth hinted at mass firings among military leadership.
USAID Overhaul
Placed all USAID employees on leave, recalling thousands of personnel overseas.
Moving to merge USAID with the State Department, dismantling its independent structure.
WHAT A JAKE BRAKE SOUNDS LIKE
—or how loud is Steve’s snoring? Play, to find out!
In the real estate market
The overall Strafford County real estate market continues to show strong movement, but pricings strategy and timing are everything. This market rewards strategic sellers and decisive buyers. Well-priced homes disappear in days, while overpriced ones linger for months.
🏡 Current Market Snapshot
Total Active Listings: 113
Highest List Price: $10,950,000
Lowest List Price: $59,000
Average List Price: $664,903
Median List Price: $499,000
Median home prices recieve most of the attention in the media, but these numbers tell us while we are in a tight seller’s market, a wide range of inventory is still available from luxury estates to entry-level homes. And that median price, half of all homes are under that $500k mark, making mid-range properties the market’s core.
When we step back to look at the last six months, we discover well-priced homes move fast.
📈 Market Activity Over the Last 6 Months
Total Transactions (Closed, Pending, or Under Contract): 578
Highest Days on Market: 156
Lowest Days on Market: 0
Average Days on Market: 18
Median Days on Market: 8
Half of all homes sold contracted in 8 days or less. The other half? They linger for months because, well, someone priced them incorrectly.
💰 Pricing Trends – The Last 6 Months
Highest List Price Sold: $2,250,000 → Sold for: $2,100,111
Lowest List Price Sold: $20,000 → Sold for: $65,000
Average List Price: $461,304
Average Sold Price: $452,538
Median List Price: $399,949
Median Sold Price: $400,000
Of the homes that are selling, they sell nearly full price. The list-to-sale price ratio is tight, meaning pricing correctly leads to a strong sale. And the median list price vs. sold price shows buyers need to remain competitive. Homes aren’t seeing major discounts and buyers must be willing to pay market value for the right home.
🏡Homes in the $352k to $450k price range are where most buyers are, by the way, and this is one of the most competitive Strafford County market segments.
Last 6 Months – Sales in $325K-$450K
Total Transactions: 147
Highest Days on Market: 83
Lowest Days on Market: 0
Average Days on Market: 12.4 days
Median Days on Market: 7 days
Current Active Listings in $325K-$450K
Total Properties for Sale: 19
Highest Days on Market: 267
Lowest Days on Market: 2
Average Days on Market: 51 days
Median Days on Market: 32 days
The extended days on market may indicate a slowdown in demand, but more likely reflects unrealistic seller expectations. If a home in this mid-range doesn’t sell within 7 to 10 days, the house is likely overpriced.
This gives you, the buyer, an opportunity to negotiate price reductions on overpriced homes—often overlooked because buyers don’t think to ask about a flash sale. Which, potentially, severely cuts down on competition if you are one of the few considering overpriced properties.
Listen, I don’t often share my own real estate statistics because, well, to be brutally honest, my market share is tiny tiny. The top agents in The Strafford County Board of Realtors and my very own brokerage Keller Williams Coastal and Lakes & Mountains are selling circles around me in terms of volume.
The top three agents over the past three months within the Strafford County Board of Realtors, by the way, are Michael Rudolph and Beverly Brooks of Re/Max Shoreline. And the Zoeller Group within my own brokerage Keller Williams Coastal and Lakes & Mountains (Yes, an entire group! Not just a single agent.) The total combined transactions for the top three agents number 608, and their median days on market is 47.8 days—significantly longer than the ounty median 8 days.
Keep in mind too that the Zoeller Group is not a single agent but an entire group. Because a herd of agents run around for them, their volume reflects multiple agents’ efforts. Which is pretty cool if you think about both Rudolph and Brooks as single solo agents each beating out not just another solo Realtor, but an entire Realtor gaggle.
Most of Rudolph’s closes deals are above $500k. Beverly works in both high mid-range and luxury properties. In general, she’s heavily invested in the luxury market. The Zoeller Group, however, works a road range from the very low $80,000 properties to the $810-ish properties.
The combined number of transactions for all three agents over the last three months has been 47.
By the way, just within the KWCLM brokerage, the top three agents in the office pulled in a total of 31 real estate transactions. Those agents are Boyd Watkins at 12 transactions, Matthew Silverstein at 10 transactions, and Megan Higgins Croteau at 9 transactions. If you pull the Zoeller Group’s transactions out of the equation, you’ll see that Brooks and Rudolph only brought 18 transactions over the past three months.
Not to discount Brooks and Rudolph’s achievement, but I’m saying is KWCLM are the big dawgs and absolutely controling the market!
KWCLM’s top agents are heavily involved in the luxury market, closing deals significantly above Strafford County’s median home price.
This is where things get interesting though. Because remember when I said I held less than 1% of the overall Strafford County real estate market, well I also contribute less than 1% of the overall market share at KWCLM.
And yet! I rank in the top 50 Realtors in the Strafford County Board of Realtors and in the top 40 in KWCLM respectively. Number 45 for SCB and number 38 for KWCLM.
Mainly, I’m operating in the mid-market range. Here’s how I stack:
🏡 My Recent Sales Performance:
Average Days on Market: 16.5 days (compared to the broader market average)
Sales Volume (Recent Sales): $1,538,100
List-to-Sale Price Ratio (Market vs. Me): Market: ~100% | My Listings: Holding strong 💪
Homes Sold by Price Range:
$325,000–$349,999: Sold in 19 days
$350,000–$374,999: Sold in just 3 days 🚀
$400,000–$424,999: Sold in 35 days
$425,000–$449,999: Sold in 9 days
My mid-range listings sell faster than the broader market average, with a strong emphasis on pricing strategy and buyer engagement. The sub-$400K range remains highly competitive, moving in under three weeks on average
In fact, I sell homes much faster than the top agents who have significantly more volume. My listings close in almost a third of the time. Plus, my homes are selling at or very close to asking price, just like the best-performing agents in the county. That means you’re pricing right and negotiating well.
Your success in real estate—whether buying or selling—is directly to local market knowledge, pricing strategy, and speed. And, here comes my sales pitch:
If you’re selling, the county median days on market is 18 days, and the top agents in the area are averaging 47.8 days. My average? 16. Faster sales equals less stress, fewer carrying costs, and a stronger negotiating positon.
You will not be stuck with a listing that lingers. If a mid-range home sits longer than 7 to 10 days, it’s usually overpriced. My approach ensures your home is positioned to attract serious buyers immediately.
You’ll also get market-driven pricing. The top agents in the county sell at strong price points, but so do I. Your home will be competitively priced to sell, not sit.
If you are buying, the best homes in your price range sell in a week or less. I help you identify opportunities quickly, craft competitive offers, and get you under contract before the home is gone. In fact, the house my buyers are closing on early next week, from the moment they contacted to me to the moment they went under contract was less than 48 hours.
When we do take longer to find a property, I still don’t waste your weekends. Last month’s client found their home in two Saturday’s of showings, because strategy matters more than volume.
And I don’t just chase homes at face value. I know where to find deals—like overpriced homes that have been sitting too long. And that means potential price reductions and better terms for you.
The bottom line: sellers get a faster sale, competitive pricing and stronger offers and buyers gain a strategic edge, negotiate smarter, and move efficiently.
If you want to navigate this fast-moving, competitive market without overpaying (or underselling), let’s talk. A smart strategy makes all the difference.
🚀 Real talk: You probably aren’t buying or selling right now. And half of you are my competition (hey, love ya anyway). But you 100% know someone thinking about moving, buying, selling, or just frustrated with the process.
So, do them a favor. Forward this email. Better yet, connect us directly with a quick intro email. It’s the single best way you can help your family, friends, and neighbors.
If they’re serious, they’ll thank you. And I’ll owe you coffee (or whiskey, depending on how this market keeps going).
Who’s the first person that comes to mind? Go on—hit that share button. I triple dog dare you. 😉
PROPERTY OF THE WEEK
🛏️5 Beds, 🛁3 Baths, 📏2,706sq ft, $599,000
Estimated payment: $4,615/mo
Estimation provided by Keller Williams Realty Inc.
Contact a mortgage broker today!
Built in 1870, this historic home blends classic architecture with rustic charm & wide pine floors. 2,706 square feet, 9 rooms, 5 bedrooms & 2.5 baths. Town water & sewer, natural gas heat & a new roof. Moved from its original location in the 1950’s and placed on a more modern poured concrete foundation w/ full basement & barn, there’s plenty of storage & extra space. R-12 zoning allows for a multitude of possible uses if town parameters & setbacks are met including ADU, multi-unit, B&B, childcare facility and more. (Buyer to perform due diligence w/ Town of Dover). Upstairs room has its own separate entrance & full bath making it a candidate for an accessory dwelling or separated living space. It also connects to the upper floor of the barn. Just off the route 16 exit, 200 Silver Street, walking distance to Woodman Park School & a short drive to downtown Dover with its award winning restaurants, museums, shops, breweries, parks & the rapidly developing Cocheco Waterfront District. Showings begin at the open house Sat 2/8/25 from 11am-1pm
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Earlier this week, despite the ongoing ankle issue, I planned on running a networking meet-up in Rochester, and the night before my wife said I’d never make it out of the house because of all the ice. I rolled my eyes at her, and the next morning attempted to leave the house on crutches.
❝Friends and neighbors who get plowed (yeah, I know how that sounds), I'm curious: are your driveways currently more icy than they have been in previous years? ~ Dave Hamilton, The Community Discussion Group for Durham, Lee, & Madbury NH Facebook Group
People! You all need to remind me to listen to my wife more often. I had never seen that much ice congregating in our driveway and at our front steps.
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